Separation Anxiety: 5 practices that can help you survive

Separation Anxiety is a physical condition where a young child fears separation from parents when they move out of his sight. It is very common in a child’s development; however, it may or may not reflect in a child’s life depending on factors like their needs being met, how much they feel safe or trust their primary caregivers. Research states that separation anxiety has also increased the risks of the development of other psychological and behavioural dysfunctions (Biederman, Petty, & Henin, 2007). It is even affecting and interfering with development and learning among preschoolers (Mian, 2014).  If separation anxiety is ignored, it can turn into Separation Anxiety Disorder. 

Difference between Separation Anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder

Let’s understand the difference between normal Separation Anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder through 2 case studies:

Case Study 1:

Rayan (3 years old) was a student at a renowned preschool. Tanya and Tanmay ensured that he was enrolled in a quality preschool. Their definition of quality included having educated and trained professional staff and a quality environment. Rayan had good friends at school, and yet every morning, Rayan used to look at his school and start clinging to his father. Tanmay’s father always pampered him, telling him he would enjoy playing with friends and that school was important. But Rayan would just not listen and kept shedding tears. Every day after his father would leave, he would keep crying for a while, but later would get engaged with different equipment around the class and forget about his father.

This is a sign of normal separation anxiety that most children face during their early years. It can last anywhere, starting before/after their first birthday until 4 years of age.

Case Study 2:

Tanmay’s best friend, Kashmira, had 2 kids. One among them was Rohan, a 2.5-year-old toddler. He was a student at another play school. On his first day, Kashmira dropped him off at school. His mother left without any instructions and just a goodbye. Rohan kept crying all day until the time his mother returned to pick him up. He would neither engage with any activity nor with his teachers or friends, and would just keep crying. This was observed over months. He probably developed a strong fear that his mother would not return once she left him. Despite much effort, the family and school failed to help him. Rohan would not sleep at night; would not go to anyone except for his parents; would keep clinging to his parents when they tried going out of his sight.

The above is an example of Separation Anxiety Disorder. If love and affection, safety, and protection are missing from young children’s lives, it can lead to such a strong disorder.

Be it normal Separation Anxiety or Separation Anxiety Disorder, both can be treated. However, it’s always better to prevent them rather than fight against them.

These 5 practices will help you avoid the above-discussed situations:

1. Practice being apart for a small time (allow them to spend time away from you at play dates or at a relative’s place)
2. Be logical and consistent (you know how long your work will take, and hence let your child know when you will be back, and be regular in this practice)
3. Define time for them (You can complete your snack, and Papa will be right back before you sleep.)
4. Use alarm clocks (when you leave, set an alarm for the time you promise them and say you will return when this alarm rings)
5. Feel regretful (when you come back, listen to them, acknowledge, and say you regret what you missed)

Lastly, every parent needs to understand that Separation Anxiety is a normal part of every child’s development. Hence, it is of utmost importance that they should take preventive measures. One of them could be setting departure routines, be at home or preschool. Soon, this routine will become a part of your child’s daily schedule. This will greatly help to lower your child’s anxiety levels.