Separation Anxiety: 5 practices that can help you survive

Separation Anxiety is a physical condition where a young child fears separation from parents when they move out of his sight. It is very common in a child’s development, however it may or may not reflect in a child’s life depending on factors like their needs being met; how much they feel safe or trust their primary caregivers. Research states that separation anxiety has also increased the risks of the development of other psychological and behavioural dysfunctions (Biederman, Petty, & Henin, 2007) . It is even affecting and interfering development and learning among preschoolers (Mian, 2014).  If separation anxiety is ignored, it can turn into Separation Anxiety Disorder. 

Difference between Separation Anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder

Let’s understand the difference between normal Separation Anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder through 2 case studies:

Case Study 1:

Rayan (3 year old) was a student of renowned preschool. Tanya and Tanmay ensured to enrol him in a quality preschool. Their definition of quality included having educated and trained professional staff and quality environment. Rayan had good friends at school and yet every morning Rayan used to look at his school and start clinging to his father. Tanmay, his father always used to pamper him and tell him that he will enjoy playing with his friends and it is important to be in school. But Rayan would just not listen and keep shedding tears. Everyday after his father would leave, he would keep crying for a while but later would get engaged with different  equipment around the class and forget about his father. 

This is a sign of a normal separation anxiety that most children face during their early years. It can last anywhere starting before/after their first birthday until 4 years of age.

Case Study 2:

Tanmay’s best friend Kashmira had 2 kids. One among them was Rohan, a 2.5 year old toddler. He was a student at another play school . On his first day, Kashmira dropped him to school. His mother left without any instructions and just a goodbye. Rohan kept crying all day until the time his mother returned to pick him up. He would neither engage with any activity nor with his teachers or friends and would just keep crying. This was observed over months. He probably developed a strong fear that his mother would not return once she leaves him. Despite of much efforts, the family and school failed to help him. Rohan would not sleep at nights; would not go to anyone except for parents; would keep clinging to his parents when they try going out of his sight. 

The above is an example of Separation Anxiety Disorder. If love and affection, safety and protection is missing out of young children’s life, it can lead to such a strong disorder. 

Be it normal Separation Anxiety or Separation Anxiety Disorder, both can be treated. However it’s always better to prevent them rather fighting against them. 

This 5 practices will help you to avoid the above discussed situations:

  1. Practice being apart for small time (allow them to spend time away from you at play dates or at a relative’s place)
  2. Be logical and consistent (you know how long your work will take and hence let you child know when will you be back and be regular in this practice)
  3. Define time for them (You can complete your snack and papa will be right back before you sleep.)
  4. Use alarm clocks (when you leave, set an alarm for the time you promise them and say you will return when this alarm rings) 
  5. Feel regretful (when you come back, listen to them, acknowledge and say you regret over what you missed)

Lastly it is very important for every parent to understand that Separation Anxiety is normal part of every child’s development. Hence it is of utmost importance that they should take preventive measures. One of it could be setting departure routines be at home or at preschool. Soon this routine will turn as a part of your child’s daily schedule. This will greatly help to lower your child’s anxiety levels. 

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